God, make me good, but not yet.

This is Benjamin now.  Adorable. Precious.
He will be "one" in just a few days.  Many will
remember his birth - remembering the photos I
posted as he spent his first week in Children's
Hospital, Little Rock, AR - with tubes and more
tubes....and then his speedy recovery happened.
It was a special blessing from God.  

This past year of helping with Ben, rocking more hours than I can count, feeding a bottomless pit, and kissing that little head till it's a wonder he has much sandy colored hair on his head, was priceless.  His grins, giggles, and every move was precious.  How could it be anything else? 

BUT: This week I returned from a two week visit with another grand...who is just as precious, but far from being a baby.  She's grown...and knows more than I will ever know.  I'm proud of her.  Her achievements are numerous.  And she made it all happen with determination and hard work.  That's Brooke.  But, let's get back to Benjamin...

I was only gone two weeks!  Yet in that time frame, my sweet, perfect, adorable little guy changed!
How could that happen?  He never did anything wrong in his entire life!  Sweet...described him, totally. 

But now!  Now, that little guy is revealing a carnal side that was completely hidden!  I'm shocked.  How can sweetness turn into a smidge of naughtiness?  In two weeks?

I'll admit that having a big sister who holds you still in a grip, when you don't want her to do that, did contribute to the outburst of defense.  While I was away, there were a few instances of his defense strategy popping out - and it was simply by his own design - no one taught him to do this.  When you can't move physically and another force has you trapped...when you cannot tolerate it one more second there's only one thing to do,  BITE.    It works.  The big sister lets go quickly.  And the sounds coming from her are familiar. 

How did my perfect Benjamin learn to do this?  I'm amazed.  No one taught him to bite!  He didn't see it as a behavior model.  How could this be?  Here's the answer:  It's called our carnal nature.  Yes, I have to admit it, he has a carnal nature.  It just took a long time to manifest.  :) 

So, I also found that he added another carnal nature trait during this time.  It is a scream/cry that sounds just like one used by a member of a swat team when they are about to take you out...well, at least he gives a warning. 

I'm still amazed.  How did this happen?  And in such a short period of time?  Does one carnal trait have the power to bring on other expressions of naughtiness?  Evidently, yes!

Carnality is a disposition we are born with...a disposition to be naughty.  As we age, carnality is characterized by works that include lusts and passions. 

Galatians 5:19-24 lists those traits: 

Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these:  Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like:  of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

The real problem is this:  if left undisciplined or ignored it can and will eventually enslave a human into ugly, out of control behavior.   There is nothing good about carnality:  Romans 7:18  And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t.

Biting, yelling, and all the other sounds, are a baby's way of expressing his disapproval of the world around him...but when it goes beyond that - and aggression sets in - it's time for training!  We are born with this nature.  But we can't remain on this immature level of behavior!

The flesh is a built-in law of failure, making it impossible for the natural man to please or serve God. It is a compulsive inner force inherited from man's fall, which expresses itself in general and specific rebellion against God and His righteousness. The flesh can never be reformed or improved. The only hope for escape from the law of the flesh is its total execution and replacement by a new life in the Lord Jesus Christ.  (Mark Bubeck, The Adversary, Moody Press, p. 28.)

 Many pray:  God, make me good, but not yet.

And some say: It is easier to cry against one-thousand sins of others than to kill one of your own.


The Australian coat of arms pictures two creatures--the emu, a flightless bird, and the kangaroo. The animals were chosen because they share a characteristic that appealed to the Australian citizens. Both the emu and kangaroo can move only forward, not back. The emu's three-toed foot causes it to fall if it tries to go backwards, and the kangaroo is prevented from moving in reverse by its large tail. Those who truly choose to follow Jesus become like the emu and kangaroo, moving only forward, never back (Luke 9:62).  As we age, it is imperative that we move forward in our maturity and behavior.  We cannot retreat to the baby stage of carnality.

Benjamin has a lot to learn.  His parents will teach/train him that naughty behavior is not okay.  Most of us as adults are still in training.  Our Heavenly Father continues to correct our carnal behavior and He has ways to let us know that what we are doing is not okay. 

Beware,  carnality is a natural ability.  We can all do it well.  And it can come on us suddenly.  Squeeze a paper cup filled with water and it spills...that's us.  Maturity is obvious whenever life squeezes you and water doesn't spill over. 

It takes time.  Don't beat yourself up.  We'll all get there....about the time we are ready to depart this life... :)    Maybe. 

In the meantime use this prayer by John Newton:

I am not what I might be, I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I wish to be, I am not what I hope to be. But I thank God I am not what I once was, and I can say with the great apostle, "By the grace of God I am what I am.  

....